MotoGP 2009 Cardion AB Grand Prix Ceske Republiky

Well, the Summer break is over and the all the riders (except Stoner) and their crews had to drag their asses out of the discos, off the beaches, and head to the Brno curcuit in Czechland to start the second 'half' of the MotoGP season. Coming into this round, Rossi held a 25 point championship lead over teammate/rival Jorge Lorenzo. Stoner, who decided to take some additional vacation time (more on that later), sat 37 points behind Rossi.

After crashing during qualifying, Rossi decided to set the fastest lap of the session and started the race from pole. Rossi's homie, J-Lo, was looking to beat Rossi in a head-to-head fight at Brno, and strenghten his argument that he should be the top dog in the Fiat Yamaha garage. Even if J-Lo manages to finish above Rossi, the odds of him becoming the lead rider are about as good as me emptying my dishwasher AND curing all forms of cancer in the next 45 minutes. 140,000 vowel-starved fans packed the stands at Brno. According to the MotoGP announcers, the on-site vendors started selling pints of beer at 7am, and by the start of the 250 race, had sold out. Take it from me, never underestimate the value of a flask of vodka...even if it's 'Speedway' brand vodka purchased at a truck stop 15 miles West of Indianapolis. Enough about that...here we go.

So then...under the glorious Eastern European sunshine, the lights go green, and Rossi gets the jump, but Pedrosa manages to take the lead into turn 1. Pedrosa's lead lasted roughly two corners as Rossi went up the inside to take his spot at the top of the charts. JLo sat in third behind Pedro and looked to soon dispatch his pint-sized BFF.

...and then on lap 394, Buddy Lee Gordon's Tidemobile made contact with Shooter McBain's Farm and Country-sponsored Oldsmobuick sending them both ass-over-tit into the wall, which brought out the red flag. As the cars lined up behind the pacecar, the safety truck, a tractor, and the National Guard were brought out to help remove a piece of tire that was leftover from the incident... Crap! Who changed the channel!?

Sorry about that. We now return to our regularly-scheduled crap...20 laps to go, and not a lot has changed. On the star-spangled front, Edwards (P6) and Hayden (P7) are slowly making time on the lead group. Nice work. A few laps later, JLo helps himself past Pedrosa into second place and sets sail for Rossi at the front. JLo began to close the gap on Rossi. Rossi, in all his Rossiness, let JLo pester him for a bit before opening the door letting JLo past him...hook, line, and sinker.

8 to go, not much has changed. Rossi and JLo continue to trade the fasted laps of the race. In other news...Toni 'contract time' Elias and Andrea 'the other Repsol rider' Dovizioso continued to take pot-shots at each other for the last podium spot. While Dovi looked much smoother, Elias looked a lot more bonkers/determined/contractless/fun to watch/ape/sideways/whatever...take your pick. Elias ended up on the box. Oonga boonga.

Back up front, JLo looked quick, but you could tell Rossi was biding his time and applying the pressure. 5 laps to go, and the ghosts of Biaggi and Gibbers reemerge in the form of JLo chucking his Yamaha into the scenery. Game, set, match...Rossi's gone and showboating for the win. Pedro came home in a solitary second followed by 'Contract Time' in third.

Result:

1)Rossi - Yamaha

2)Pedrosa - Honda

3)Elias - Honda

4)Dovizioso - Honda

5)Capirossi - Suzuki

6)Hayden - Ducati

7)Edwards - Yamaha

8)DeAngelis - Honda

9)Toseland - Yamaha

10)DePuniet - Bunny Bike

11)Vermeulen - Suzuki

12)Canepa - Ducati

13)Talmcsi - Honda

Gravelboat:

Kallio (in for Stoner)

Melandri

Lorenzo

Fabrizio (in for Kallio)

Dude, where's my Stoner? Good question. His plan is to sit out the next three rounds (including Brno) to give him time time to diagnose/treat his mystery illness. Insiders say he's lost his will to compete at the top level and that he may be done...I hope not. In the meantime, Ducati has offered Lorenzo 7 million dollars/Euros/whatever for his services next season. Fairly interesting, considering they want to hang on to Hayden. Hmmm...

Next stop...Indianapolis Motorspeedway here in the U.S. of A. If you're heading downtown for the festivities, don't speed down Meridian St.

T...out.